Puerto Rico – Parents, with their example, can teach their children what it means to have a healthy relationship and, in addition, they can help them to recognize what are the elements of a toxic relationship so that their children -in the future- can avoid entering in these types of relationships and sustain healthy relationships. This was assured to La Perla del Sur, the clinical psychologist of the non-profit organization Familias CAPACES, Inc., Dr. Aysha Concecpció Lizardi.
“We as parents can be an example for our children of a healthy relationship. There is a lot of talk about toxic relationships, but we as parents can certainly counteract the fact that our children have a toxic relationship and, on the other hand, they can learn – with our example – about what a healthy relationship is, ”said Dr. Concepción Lizardi.
For his part, Hecbel Rodríguez, a clinical psychology student at the UPR and a dance therapist at Familias CAPACES, shared with this medium a series of conditions that must exist in any healthy relationship.
First of all, he mentioned have an affective communication. By this he means that the couple must express themselves verbally and effectively. Likewise, you must reconsider when you make a mistake and apologize.
Second, he indicated that it is important respect and acceptance. At this point it refers to respecting each other in making decisions, to respecting and accepting how the other dresses and their tastes, in short, to accept each other as they are.
Third, Rodríguez pointed out as relevant the condition that there is solidarity and empathy, since it is extremely necessary to recognize what others need, especially the couple.
Fourth, he mentioned honesty and transparency. By this he means that the couple should not keep secrets and always speak the truth to each other.
Fifth and last, he indicated that in a healthy relationship there must be trust. It is particularly important that there is trust so that the couple has the ability to communicate when something bothers them and they also have confidence and respect each other’s spaces of freedom, such as their telephone, their messages and emails.
Rodríguez assured that when each of these conditions occurs in the family, when the parents fully experience them, the children can repeat these conditions in their future relationships.
In the same way, he explained that when parents make a mistake, they should solve it as a couple and promote communication with their children without going into details, since they must let them know that they are capable of handling their differences between adults and give them that example.
On the other hand, Rodríguez detailed what are those behaviors that are not healthy that parents should help their children identify to avoid falling into a toxic relationship in the future.
“You can talk to them about jealousy, lies, if there is no respect for privacy, you can talk about aggressiveness, insults, if there are frequent discussions, if you control your relationships, your way of dressing, your social platforms, it does not take your opinion and needs into consideration, it makes you feel less, there is overprotection, it compares you with others, it belittles you ”, he mentioned about some of the signs and behaviors that do not promote healthy relationships.
To conclude, Rodríguez quoted a phrase from the French psychoanalyst Francoise Doltó, who said that “What is silent in the first generation, the second carries in the body.” With this phrase Rodríguez wanted to highlight the importance of parents being an example of healthy relationships for their children.
If you need help, guidance or more information about this topic, you can contact Familias CAPACES at 787-708-9093.
Similarly, any person or non-profit entity in the southern region that needs support in matters of family, interpersonal and community relations, can also contact this number or write to [email protected]
These services for the people of southern Puerto Rico are sponsored by Fundación Serrallés with the collaboration of the Fundación Comunitaria de Puerto Rico.