Pampering grandchildren represents one of the greatest gifts for many grandparents. No matter how strict they have been with their children or how difficult the task of directing them through life has represented them, the truth is that nothing compares to the joy of sharing with those little ones and being complicit in their antics.
So beneficial is this family bond that a study by the Department of Psychology at the University of Basel (Switzerland), concludes that grandparents who occasionally help care for grandchildren live longer than those who do not care for other people. The emotional support, the company, the complicity and the generational exchange provided by growing up close to their grandparents is also extremely positive for children.
However, it is a reality that, when educating, many parents face conflicts with some grandparent practices. One of the most common conflicts occurs when the grandchildren are interpreted as being overly indulgent and even contradicting the authority of their child.
In the framework of the celebration of Grandparents ‘Day, we share below several suggestions to minimize differences and strengthen parents’ interest in having the help of grandparents in the lives of children:
Beware of tips
Resist the urge to offer unsolicited advice. Also, to compare with the typical phrase “in the times when I educated you …” even more, avoid this behavior in front of the grandchildren since it can influence to reduce the authority of the parents. By respecting your children’s posture in parenting and disciplining, you will show them that you consider their efforts in the parenting role. In addition, you will minimize the impression that you are invalidating their rules and their ability to be a good parent.
Make time for you and your grandson
The grandparent-grandchild relationship does not come about overnight. It is in your hands if you want to appear as an important part of his life. Although you probably already have that clear. Therefore, emphasize to your children the importance of sharing with them for you. Make it clear that you are not interested in competing for their affection or their preference, but you do want to have time to share with the little ones. Also, try to notify your children about your plans and avoid carrying out activities without their consent.
A good practice for bonding with grandchildren is to tell them stories of what life was like without technology, how long it took them to get to school, or what transportation they used to get home.
Encourage your children As parents, surely your children believe that they are doing their best. For this reason, never hesitate to give them positive comments regarding their performance in their parental role.
Considerations when reviewing
When making a difference about raising grandchildren, avoid getting into discussions. Just limit yourself to offering an opinion without insisting that it be accepted. Similarly, listen to your child about what she has to say. If you find it very difficult, there is a sentence that usually works to mediate conflicts: “Can I help you with something?” This will validate your intentions to genuinely support him rather than compete or meddle.